Two years ago (before I got pregnant), one of my husband’s relatives bought me a sweater for Christmas. It was a size 2X. I was mortified, not only because I opened it in front of everyone and I’m sure they all saw the tag, which might as well have been a flashing neon sign, but also because she said, “If it doesn’t fit, I have the receipt and you can exchange it.” Okay, so I’m sure she said that meaning that if it was too BIG, I could take it back. But to my burning ears, it sounded like, “If that size is still too small for your lard @ss, you can take it back and get an even bigger size.” I was depressed about this sweater and refused to wear it because I just couldn’t believe other people would look at me and think I wore a size 2X.
Fast forward to this Christmas … what does my mother-in-law buy for me? Adorable pajamas (which I love), with little Scottish Terriers all over them. So cute! And then, she made THE COMMENT … “If they don’t fit, I can exchange them for you.” I figured, okay, she probably got a size XL or MAYBE a 2X, but I won’t let it bother me. After all, I’ve had a baby since then and at least I’m trying to do something about it now. But what do I see on the tag? 3X!!!! As in XXXL! OMG, I was beyond embarassed. Does she really think I’m that big? And then I realized … the very shirt I had on while opening her gift was a 3X. I justified buying it by telling myself it was somewhat “clingy” and had a little stretchy material in it, and I like my shirts to fit loosely …. but the truth is, I really am that big, and it’s not something I can hide. It’s easy to look at yourself in the mirror day after day and be in denial and not really “see” your flaws … I can avoid spending a lot of time in front of the mirror and just imagine that it’s not that bad … but the truth is, it IS that bad.
My reaction this time has been so different. After my realization, I was so thankful for my MIL for giving me cute pajamas with a wake-up call thrown in for free. The very next night, I opened gifts at my parents’ house, and what did they do? They got my hubby and I a gift certificate for 4 months membership at a local gym that we used to belong to, before I got pregnant. I definitely think someone is trying to tell me something. :) I am so thankful for both gifts, because I know they will help me to reach my goals. I will wear those PJs with pride (they are a little loose now after all), and I will look forward to next Christmas, knowing I will never again receive clothes from the “plus sized” section of a store, and people who care about it will not have to embarassingly cover for the larger size by saying, “It’s probably too big, but …” when they know very well it’s NOT too big. Just wait, buddies … thanks to the gym membership, the motivational jammies, and my new attitude, I will be one hot mama for Christmas ‘09. 